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tsunamininja5

I'm not okay. I never will be. Everything changed so fast, and I didn't want it to. I couldn't stop crying yesterday after taekwondo.

 

I had the least energy of everyone, the weakest technique, and my form looks terrible now. My form, Taegeuk Pal-jang, was absolutely awesome when I was at my other school. But now I can't perform it with the same energy and power, the same flow, stopping briefly after each technique and going smoothly from one technique to the next. My yell is quiet. Everyone else yells so much louder. This wasn't the case at my other school. I used to be the loudest, I used to try, I used to be strong, I used to have fighting spirit. 

 

Now . . . it's like when I left my other school, I left behind my fighting spirit. It's like my fighting spirit left me after I said goodbye to my instructor/friend on our last day. It's like when the sun set that day, it took my fighting spirit, my taekwondo spirit, with it. I haven't trained outside of class since that day. And that was the first sign that it was over. Part of me was missing: my taekwondo spirit. And I don't know how to get it back.

 

People told me it would get better, but it won't. It can't. You don't understand what it's like to have someone as awesome as my instructor teach you taekwondo. You don't understand what it's like to have to say goodbye to someone who's like a brother to you. You don't understand. Don't try to. Whatever you can think of that you think is similar to this, it's not. Nothing hurts as bad as this. Nothing. You don't know how hopeless I feel, how much despair is in my heart. You don't understand.

 

Yesterday I didn't want to try. I used my knee injury as an excuse for everything, even though it wasn't bothering me hardly at all. I was practicing a kicking combination and I messed up and that did it - I left class and hid in the hallway and cried for a bit. Then I got water and went back to class. But I still didn't try. I didn't give any effort because my taekwondo spirit was gone, and I couldn't stop thinking about how much I miss the way things used to be and how they could never be that way again. I wanted to go back to my old school, but I can't. It's too far away to travel, now that we've moved, just for a class if my instructor/friend isn't going to be there. He was the reason I wanted to still attend that school after we moved. But when he told me he was going back to his old school, I decided to attend a different taekwondo school in the fall. On the last day of summer break we both left. That was the most difficult goodbye one could imagine.

 

Without him, does taekwondo even have anything left for me? Is there any point in still trying?

 

My other friend told me to never give up, to keep doing taekwondo always, no matter what taekwondo school I attended. I don't want to disappoint him, and I don't want my instructor to feel like he taught me nothing at all; he taught me valuable things, and I want to remember everything he's ever taught me and not forget it in this dark time . . . but without my taekwondo spirit, I don't have perseverance. I can't keep going.

 

I like my new school but . . . I don't have my taekwondo spirit left. I'm too depressed to try. There are so many people in my class, but I've never felt more alone. I don't know who to talk to about this. I don't know what to do. If I quit, that will result in only more sadness. But I don't have any taekwondo spirit left. No perseverance. How can I get it back? Is it even possible?

 

 

 

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Samurai

 

Trainee Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Martial Arts Action Writer

Future Olympian

 

"The person who decides your worth is you and you are far more worthy than you tell yourself." - my taekwondo instructor

 

 

 

 

 

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tsunamininja5

...

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Samurai

 

Trainee Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Martial Arts Action Writer

Future Olympian

 

"The person who decides your worth is you and you are far more worthy than you tell yourself." - my taekwondo instructor

 

 

 

 

 

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happyhopeful24

Would your old instructor want you to quit? No. Would your friends want you to quit? No. Would you in the past want you to quit? No. Would your family want you to quit? No. Do I want you to quit? Never.  

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Call me Happeh®

Grayromantic+bi&proud

Alpeoplarpeople.

"I don't want my life to imitate art. I want my life to be art."-Carrie Fisher

Love/life/death doesn't discriminate.

Normalness leads to sadness.

 P R O T I P

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ghostmagic133

Nothing as strong as your fighting spirit ever truly leaves you. It must be scared about the new area. Try coaxing it out of it's hidey hole.Your strong. Your fighting spirit will return. 

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Name's Gag, eyE tHnk @ leAst..

WE BUILT THIS SIGGY. WE BUILT THIS SIGGY ON ROCK AND ROOOOOOLLLL!!!!!!

Trying to fix my life and signature currently.

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wolfdragon37424

:pats on back:

Before rushing into everything, do what I always do.  Relax on the couch and breathe.  One, two, three, four.  Count to fifty, then stand up, look your 'opponent' in the eye, and ask yourself "Do I like doing this?"  

 

 

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Jester

Finger Snap TM

 *moderately insane*

there's nothing left for me

but dreams and fantasies

living off insanity

counting stars and make-believe

-Jest

 

He flew so high, he did not recognize

The fire burning in my eyes

The chaos that controlled his mind

 

 

 

 

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eagledragon2361

*hug*

 

You don't need to be the best off the bat. I've always had trouble with this, especially in school, since I want to be at the top all the time. Most of the time, I do very well, but because of that, it's always really difficult when someone surpasses me. I got a taste  of it last year, but I know I'm going to be absolutely humbled as a freshman. That's really not easy for me, and I can already tell you that I'm going to feel the same as you do right now. What has helped me in the past is to focus on what makes me love the subject in the first place, not how well other people are doing. If I compare myself to them, I'll be unhappy, but if I can pay attention to how I'm improving over time, that really, really helps. What drew you to taekwondo in the first place? 

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Bobcat

        Here there be salamanders

Proud Mormon!

          #BuzzBuzzPotatoSaladY'all

 

     "Sometimes I pretend I have insomnia.

   What I really have is a good book, and 

an inadequate respect for tomorrow."

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dragonwolf2982

*Hugs* I'm so sorry, Samurai.

 

Well what it sounds like is that your old instructor was what gave meaning to taekwondo for you. Is there any way for you to get in touch with them? Maybe your parents have their number or something, and I think you mentioned their brother in another post...

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Call me Eternity EternaFlame

I'm Katrina, her flipside

 

Gang @/287587

 

#EternityIsAPancake

#OnlyOneSpeshalBubbles

#SaveIsaac2k17

 

UNDERTALE fan

Pegasister

 

I am:

a Fanwing!

the Keeper!

a writer!

an Icecream!

a READER!!!!!!

 

"I'm afraid, and that is why I fight."

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tsunamininja5

Happeh-

*other instructor (he is still my teacher, no matter what happens)

I guess that's true - he definitely doesn't want me to quit, and my friend says he doesn't either, as I mentioned in the post. I don't want to quit, but I don't know how to continue, how to try my best, when my fighting spirit is gone. I don't know what to do at this point.

 

GhostMagic-

My fighting spirit isn't hiding. It's gone. The people at my other school, my instructor in particular, are the ones who gave me my fighting spirit. Without everyone at my other school, it's gone. I don't know how to get it back, and I don't think I can.

 

Jester-

Of course I like taekwondo. Taekwondo isn't the problem. It's me.

 

Bobcat-

What drew me to taekwondo in the first place was wanting to be a black belt. But lately I've been doubting that I'll ever deserve to be a black belt.

 

Eternity-

*him

*other instructor

Yes, I have his email. We're friends. Of course I would. It's just not the same. Keeping in touch with your friend and actually seeing him are two completely different things.

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Samurai

 

Trainee Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Martial Arts Action Writer

Future Olympian

 

"The person who decides your worth is you and you are far more worthy than you tell yourself." - my taekwondo instructor

 

 

 

 

 

Hi-yeah thing.

 

(Naaaaaacho)

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                                                        Hamilton

 

Revenge on Burr

Revenge on Burr

Revenge on Burr

Revenge on Burr

 

WHERE THE HECK IS BURR

 

  

                                                    scroll down I am done with you British

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dragonfire3123

Okay. I don't believe I can convince you, but I can at least say that I sort of understand you. I mean, I can't do taekwondo for the life of me. But I guess al I can really tell you, is, well...

 

 

Practice after school.

Try hard.

The only way to win is to be more dedicated than everyone else.

So GET THE SPIRIT BACK, BRO

 

 

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

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☆╮<Kira>╰☆

LOCkWOoD & Co ObSsesd

The SAMBEwho changes siggy's every fivseconds!

FANWING

#PROUDCHRISTIAN

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!

"Can't we just stay here with the murderous robots?" -Ghost, Destiny

#RememberDusk

"I'm Nobody! ArYou-Nobody-Too?"

 

 

 

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lynxadventure425

*pats her back*

Shhhhhh... 

I know how it feels. It hurts. Leaving something so important to you is an injury. Not a real one, but hurts just the same. Maybe even worse. If something is so important to you, then how could you ever loose your spirit? As long as they're in your heart, your spirit will return. And I don't doubt it. You're the strongest person on SAMB, and one of the strongest I've ever known. Let your injury heal, and don't cry. Or at least try. And I'm sure of it, this is not the last time you see the things that are so important to you. If you truly love them (which I'm sure you do) then you will have to see them again. I hope this helps.

 

P.S. Don't you dare loose your spirit, and don't look back. Keep going. Soon, you might just realize that this change is for the better. Good luck with your black belt, and stay strong! Don't let anyone see you cry. Collect all of your anger, and get rid of it at taekwondo. Love u ;)

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.~*{Lynx}*~.

DArkSide

^{Shadow}^

I'mNOTClay

 

'~Phoenix~'

 

I❤️Wolves

 

01/12/17

Always Remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and twice as beautiful as you ever IMAGINED.

Queeof: Pineapples Unicorns

Okie dokie loki! ~Lynx

 

 

*hugs*its okay

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every one call me laney thats my name!;)

 

 

 

#thiis whafriendlook like!

 

 

 

#one of a kind<3          

 

 

 

#live  laugh ❤ love ^_^

 

 

 

#chilling!✌  

 

 

#yooooooo!☺

 

Don't you dare give up! I wanted to give up on life when my best friend... well, let's just say I'm not gonna see her anytime soon... I didn't think that I could do it anymore, until I found the song that described my life.  If you song is sad, then listen to it, and think, If you want your song to be depressing, then fine. If you want your song, to have an awesome beat, and uplifting lyrics, then make a change. (I will not quote Michael Jackson... No! I-WILL-NOT!! NO!!! ...I-I... "If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change..." NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

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Desolation.

Darkness.

Fear.

Torture.

Hearing Voices.

"We yawhoo's gotta stick together!" ~~~~The great Yawhoo (Me)

 

I'm a Fanwing, UDM: shadow-beast fluxer, I'm a redcloak, I support Dumbledore's Army...

 

Skye Williams, Flipside: Ashry Hollow.

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silvermist539

Samurai, don't give up now. You've gone so far. And no matter how difficult it is, know you are amazing, and accomplished. You don't need a fighting spirit. You just need yourself. Even if I don't make sense, I hope im getting some sort of message across. And while I don't understand most of the things you talk about, I do know how it feels to leave friends behind.

 

My best friend, Celeste, moved away from me. We barely keep in touch. I moved away from all my friends at my old school. I keep in touch with none of them. Being new doesn't mean you're bad at taekwondo. When i first got into my new school, I felt useless, helpless, and dumb. But now, while I still am quite forgetful at times, I feel used to it. Ill, of course, always miss what i left behind, but you have to keep going.

 

Your instructor from your old school wouldn't want you to stop now. THey believed, and still believe, in you. Your friend also does to. I believe in you. Its hard ot think positively of yourself, its so much easier to feel depressed, sad, alone. Im in that emotional roller coaster of growing up as well. I don't want to grow up. But I have to. You think you left your spirit behind. Its still there, its just a few steps behind you. I know you said your friends have told you this. But you just need to wait. I promise, your fighting spirit will get to you. It's just a bit shy and doesn't want to stand beside you just yet. But it will get to you. Because no matter what, your fighting spirit will always be there with you. Even if it's slow to come.

 

Dont take it from a random person on the internet. Take it from yourself. You know you can do it. Even when your motivation is low, it'll come back. Just like your spirit. Your motivation, happiness, spirit, are still at your old school. But they're coming, coming to stand right next to you and help you. Its hard now, yes. But it will get better. Many people have told you this. But its only because its true. 

 

Samurai. You can do this. You are amazing. Your are a master at taekwondo. You will get through this.

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-Joy/Aloebre.exe

 

 

Books are like flypaper, memories cling to the printed pages better than anything else.

   

"Stories never really end, even if the books pretend they do. They don't end on the last page, anymore than they begin."

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lynxadventure425

Bump

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.~*{Lynx}*~.

DArkSide

^{Shadow}^

I'mNOTClay

 

'~Phoenix~'

 

I❤️Wolves

 

01/12/17

Always Remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and twice as beautiful as you ever IMAGINED.

Queeof: Pineapples Unicorns

Okie dokie loki! ~Lynx

 

 

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wolfpaw1527

HI YA THING

 

HI

 

YA

 

THING THING THING

 

HI YA THING

 

HI-YA-THING

 

HI YA HI YA HIYA

 

BLACK BELT

 

HI YA THING

 

HI YEA

 

good luck taming her. *squints at Hamilton*

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Nacho

 

MINECRAFT

SAMB

ROBLOX            AND PEGGY!

WOLFQUEST

POKEMON

GO

 

 

Foxcraft

Wolfey

Phillip

Benny

Nacho.exe

 

 EVERYBODY DO THE DAB

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tsunamininja5

Thanks everyone. 

 

I still don't feel like training, though. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm too sad.

 

 

 

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Samurai

 

Trainee Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Martial Arts Action Writer

Future Olympian

 

"The person who decides your worth is you and you are far more worthy than you tell yourself." - my taekwondo instructor

 

 

 

 

 

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wolfpaw1527

how did it go through so long

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Nacho

 

MINECRAFT

SAMB

ROBLOX            AND PEGGY!

WOLFQUEST

POKEMON

GO

 

 

Foxcraft

Wolfey

Phillip

Benny

Nacho.exe

 

 EVERYBODY DO THE DAB

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dragonwolf2982

Well if you're too sad to do anything, maybe it's time for a break from taekwondo. I mean, not permanently, not telling you to abandon your dreams here, but if you really aren't up to it, slowing down a bit could be helpful. It was always helpful for me anyway, whenever I felt that way.

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Call me Eternity EternaFlame

I'm Katrina, her flipside

 

Gang @/287587

 

#EternityIsAPancake

#OnlyOneSpeshalBubbles

#SaveIsaac2k17

 

UNDERTALE fan

Pegasister

 

I am:

a Fanwing!

the Keeper!

a writer!

an Icecream!

a READER!!!!!!

 

"I'm afraid, and that is why I fight."

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tsunamininja5

I don't want to take a break. That's cowardly. If you want to make it to the Olympics, you can't take breaks. I have less than a year until I'm eligible to test for my first dan. I'm not waiting any longer than I have to.

 

. . . I just can't stop being sad . . .

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Samurai

 

Trainee Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Martial Arts Action Writer

Future Olympian

 

"The person who decides your worth is you and you are far more worthy than you tell yourself." - my taekwondo instructor

 

 

 

 

 

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tsunamininja5

(It clearly says "he" in the post. He's not a "they". Can everyone stop using "they", please?)

 

Kira-

Thanks. "The only way to win is to be more dedicated than everyone else." Very true words, my friend. :)

 

Joy-

"You don't need a fighting spirit. You just need yourself." No, that makes perfect sense. And you're right, I have come a long way. I looked at all my old belts yesterday and couldn't believe there was a brown belt there now. When did that happen? My motivation returned, and as nervous as I am to go to taekwondo this week, I'm going to try this time.

 

Lynx-

Thanks. As much as I miss everyone at my old school, you're right, this change probably was for the better, in the sense that my new school has a lot of stuff my old school didn't yet have (my new school is years older). I miss my instructor/friend a lot, and I'm probably never going to get over having to say goodbye, but just as many good things came from this change as bad things.

 

Laney-

Thanks

 

Skye/Ashry-

I won't give up. And I'm sorry about what happened to your best friend. :( 

 

 

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Samurai

 

Trainee Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Martial Arts Action Writer

Future Olympian

 

"The person who decides your worth is you and you are far more worthy than you tell yourself." - my taekwondo instructor

 

 

 

 

 

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psychedraven41

@tsunamininja, why don't you try visiting your old school? Well, if that's possible I mean. If my question is hurtful, I'm sorry.

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Hello! My name is Katie and I am still kinda new