feedback would be appreciated! this is a vent poem for my fandom depression so it gets a bit ranty.

 

fiction

 

it's sad how i'll never meet the people who saved my life

when i felt so low, they were there to help me through my strife

fiction is like a drug that we use to self medicate

until it's not enough to satiate

we drown reality out with that high we get

and it's so darn addictive that we can't help it

the people who don't exist become our best friends

from where our new happiness now stems

my head's not up in the clouds, it's galaxies away

and i hope that's where i shall forever stay

we seek more and more but we're never satisfied

so we turn to other sources to get that same high

because our lives are so cold and scary and boring

but in another universe it's warm and familiar and exciting

we know too well that we would die in that other place

but we'd give anything to let their problems be ours to face

because reality's so cruel to us that we'd rather leave

for a place that we know is meant to deceive

to fight against aliens rather than battle our anxieties

because we know we cannot handle the ideals of our societies

so we drown ourselves in the things that aren't real

it's so beautiful, so wonderful, so surreal

fiction is a double edged sword designed to make us bleed

yet there are still fantasy books we continue to read

we watch those shows and movies and we let ourselves drown

because this is a high from which we don't ever want to come down

it may be too good to be true

but it's my only hope

fiction's the rope from which i dangle

and my noose from which i hang

 

once again, please give feedback! i have a poetry slam coming up and i need to know if this is presentable bc this is better than most things i've done in a while, which is nothing! yay for writers block!

 

mods, pls let through. also if you're worried, i'm fine, i just feel like these words help me convey the feeling of what i'm feeling

Wow, this is great, Happeh.

It’s really good. Usually I’m a pretty hard critic, but to me it’s perfect. I haven’t slept in like two days Wichita might be part of it but I think it’s good the way it is

It's wonderful! I bet it'll do amazing in your poetry slam.

thanks! is there anything i could improve on?

maybe darn since it isn't really formal but otherwise I would say it is perfect

i used another word but i had switch to darn bc the forums

I understand and I also think I know which word was there first (cause of school)

xd I keep reading it wrong...

Ddlc references? Also, really good! :D

no references

*claps and hugs both Happeh and the poem*

 

how do you write so well

this is basically describing me

For advice:

 

You have a lot of voice in it, which is good in this situation. You may want to check the rhythm of the poem so it comes out more smooth. Try tapping each syllable out.

 

I'm a lowly poet so I'm not sure if my advice is that good, but hey I tried ;)

I wouldn't personally say that I get high on fiction, but I understand that it's a form of escapism. I still really like the poem though!   

thanks!