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compasspaw43

Warning: the following content is an extremely rough draft and I have not edited it yet so please do not try and fix gramma/spelling/whatever. Also, I am very shy when it comes to writing, I don't show it to people because I'm afraid  that they will make fun of me. I'm no professional or anything but I have given it my best shot. This is not all of the story I will post it bit by bit. I'm trying to copy paste it so it may not work right. Erm i think that's about it. Two of my gang members are in it, (Louie and Echo) I'm working more on character development, but like I said, this is rough draft and is juts ideas thinly strung togethe. Yeesh that already a lot. Give me a minute to post the actual thing. Thanks.  

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

I woke up. There was no noise. The ground beneath me was soft and spongy and smelled earthy like decaying leaves. I was facing the sky, my vision was blurry but I could see it was early morning, and the sun had not yet risen. I turned my face to the side, this was not normal. Where was my bed and my blanket and my pillow? I tried to recall how I got here, but nothing came to mind. I was outside, the ground was wet from a light mist that was falling from the clouds above and was almost entirely coated in green and grey-blue moses with redwood trees scattered every two or three yards. A couple bushes sprouted up here and there, and erupting from the ground were massive jagged stones that looked almost ancient. I was laying in the middle of a circular clearing that went on, a few yards in each direction. If I didn’t feel so off, It might have even been majestic looking, like something out of a story book. I lifted my pail hand to my face to wipe off my sleep. I tried to stand, but the rest of my body was limp. My head was still groggy with that night’s dreams and thoughts, so I was not alarmed when I looked to my legs. I suddenly snapped back to reality. Legs, where where my legs? In place of my trusty kickers, laid in the moss wher four brown hairy flesh sticks with hooves on the ends. I screamed flailing my limbs franticly. I tried to pull myself away with my hands but my new attachments drug in my wake. It wasn't just my legs that had been replaced, from my belly button down was all a reddish brown coat of thin fur. Gathered at the base of my little tail was a tribe of white oval shaped spots. I reached up to feel my head and my hand touched horns. I let out a little yelp and felt around some more. Not horns, antlers. A small rack of deer like antlers had sprouted from my skull and parted my short brown hair. The palms of my hands began to sweat, my fingers trembled, and my pulse thumped in my chest like a herd of buffalo charging in a grate mass. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I struggled to stand at first, then my back legs popped up and my front legs followed suit. I reached out to a tree to stabilize myself. I wiped my other hand on my faded green tunic. It was ratty and worn out and had a few holes toward the bottom and around the neck. A small metallic jingle came from around my neck. It was a silver dog tag. The words where very small and hard to make out. It said:
Age: 13
Gender: male
Number: 2
ID code: L08U1E
“L08U1E” I repeated under my breath. “Louie, hm, I like that.”
I jumped when I heard a rustle in a nearby bush, then saw a flash next to one of the stones. I turned to face whatever had caused the rucace but nothing was there. A snorting sound was produced as a set of nubbed brown-grey antlers and a pair of silver eyes blinked at me as they peeked out from behind the enormous boulder. At least I think they were looking at me, it was hard to tell through a thick wall of orange-red hair covering it's forehead and browline. It stepped out from behind the rock. It was a girl, but not a girl. Her mouth was in a straight line, her jaw locked in place. She had the same deer like structure as I. My back legs quivered and I took a half a step back. She lifted her keratin of hair and stared at me. Her eyes were like an old sidewalk, cracked and rough with little patches of green grass flecked around her pupils. Her mouth started to form words, but stopped as if she had simply lost interest.
I blinked realizing that I had been standing there staring with my mouth propped open for the world to see. She dropped her hair and took three fast steps in my direction. In response, I hoped backwards and I felt my ears flick as they hit back on my cheeks.
“What are you?” She demanded loudly
“Same as you I suppose,” I continued to back up and she inched closer.
“How long have you been here?” She asked in the same manner as before.
“Well I sort of just woke up here, a little bit ago… and,” I gestured to my new appendages, “I had all this.”
She reached forward and snatched my Necklace.
“Hey!” I yelped but did nothing to stop her. She paid me no mind as she examined it. Her dashing eyes paused and she held up a similar dog tag. Hers read:
Age: 13
Gender: female
Number: 1
ID #: 3EC5H0
“Your tag,” she started. “It looks similar to mine. What do you call yourself?”
“Louie,” I replied, sizing her up. She was shorter than I so I had to tilt my head to meet her gaze. The girl had pale skin and freckles across her nose. Her arms were folded across her faded green tunic, same one as mine. She nodded making her hair flop. She had a very faint Scottish accent but I managed to identify it. I read her tag. It did look the same, just with different information. I then noticed the initials G.F. but dismissed it as a minor detail.
“Echo,” I said suddenly after letting the tag plink back to her chest. She looked as if she was about to drop a nuclear sass bomb on me as she raised her eyebrow.
“What's that?”
“Echo,” I repeated. “That's your name”

---------------

OH MY GOSH SORRY THAT'S AN ABSOLUTE TON OF TEXT!! 

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

 *Grammar 

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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cobraphoenix530

Shoot, this is pretty cool...

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P R O U D S L Y F R

 

 #NALU

 

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I’M THE INSANEITTO YOUMADNESS

 

FandoArmy

 

(Anyone heard of QOTSA?)

 

YOU’RPOET,  DON’YKNOI-KS

 

Eragon Kiwi & I

 

ɹǝʞoſ :ǝpısdılℲ

 

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compasspaw43

Thanks so much! (That is not supposed to sound sarcastic often when I say that, that is what people think) 

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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greenzombie278

This is great! Good job!

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          PHYNIX

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swampcloud51

Ray, this is wonderful! Is this tr story you have writers block on? 

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She/Her/They

   ɖօʊɮʟɛ ʄօʀʊʍ ʋɨɢɨʟǟռᏆɛ  

 I'm the goddess of swamps, mist and trees

Hi, welcome to Chili's! 

"It's talking! Merry, the tree is talking!!" ~Pippin

Swammer!

 

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compasspaw43

Thank you guys! And yes Swampy, this is the one. But that not all of it I am posting it in small chunks so it's not this gigantic eight page at a time kind of thing. 

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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swampcloud51

Oh ok. 

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 ☁รωαɱρყ☁ 

She/Her/They

   ɖօʊɮʟɛ ʄօʀʊʍ ʋɨɢɨʟǟռᏆɛ  

 I'm the goddess of swamps, mist and trees

Hi, welcome to Chili's! 

"It's talking! Merry, the tree is talking!!" ~Pippin

Swammer!

 

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compasspaw43

This section begins after the previous one. So if you need to refresh on what has happened, the first part is above! Thanks!

 

She seemed to accept this, as she just made a squeaking noise and turned away.
“H-hey! Where are you going?” I stumbled after her, still not used to four extra legs. “Do you know why we are here or y’know… where the rest of me is?”
She whipped around and jabbed me hard with her finger.
“You think I know what's going on here? Wrong! I'm just a clueless as you, so you might as well just accept the fact that you are probably gonna die out here.”
Her last words hit me hard, like a brick wall to the face.
“What do you mean ‘you’? We are both here we would both die!” She made a sound, meant to resemble fake laughter.
“We? Really? There is no we in this. I'm not going to babysit you, Mr. Wobbly Legs.”
A horrid sound filled our ears and we dropped to the ground trying to escape. A loud booming voice echoed in the trees and sent few birds airborne.

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

 BUMP

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

Ok here is the next part

 

 

“Greetings subjects.” it bellowed as the screeching stopped. We scrambled to our feet wobbly, to identify the source of the sound. “You are part of a long running experiment for Griffin Industries and Test Facilities,” Echo elbowed me in the ribs.
“What’s that?” she whispered
I shrugged and looked around.
“A group of science experts who want to enhance the abilities of humans to survive.”
we glanced at each other.
“You are Human, yes. But not entirely,”
I finally identified the source of the voice, a speaker. camouflaged to our surroundings, hanging below a skinny moss covered tree branch. I nodded at it and Echo seemed to understand. We inched closer to it to investigate.
“You are two of our only,” it paused, “surviving test subjects that where given your specific enhancements. You are currently in a protective invisible dome with adjustable environment ment to test your survival and problem solving skills.”
Echo stopped walking and looked at me,
“Did you hear that, we are some of the only survivors, that means there's more out there!” Her voice got excited at the end and I no longer saw fear and worry in her face, replacing it was hope and excitement for the future.
“Yes well, he also said we are test subjects,” The thought of there being more of us in this so called dome, kind of freaked me out. What if their hostile? What if they find us first? Will we even encounter them? I had so many questions I felt as if my head was was going to explode. “Isint human experimentation illegal?” I spoke loudly towards the speaker.
“The times are changing, L08U1E, and our restrictions and rules change with them. People become more and more desperate for progress, they reject the very rules the established. In other words, a couple thousand orphans are being tested and experimented on for the greater good of humanity. You wouldn't remember, but you are one of those orphans but with one little difference, you survived the procedure.”
“What procedure?” Echo asked.
“Haven't you noticed? The lower half of your body has been replaced with the legs and body of an animal that had gone unchanged for thousands of years, the deer. This experiment is to see if you fare better with the equipment of an animal.”
“And what if we don't? ‘Fare better’ I mean.”
“Well, then it's back to the drawing board for us.”
That last comment made me mad. The man said it with such little concern, as if were meer crumbs sitting next to a frosted cake. My hands balled into fists, but I knew there was nothing I could do.

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

Also, I need a title for this at some point. 

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

Is anyone reading this or should I stop?

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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compasspaw43

“Why would you need a better way for humans to survive? What would be so bad as to make people believe it’s ok to test on fellow innocent humans?” Echo inquired.
“Is that you, 3EC5H0? I see you two have met. 3EC5H0 was dropped off at a clearing half a mile from this clearing. But, we have resorted to human experimentation because we are forced to, the human population is quickly decreasing, and we need to evolve. The world has been stricken with, war, epidemic, and fear for what will happen in the near future.”

 

 

yep,yep, that's where my brain stops. I need to continue this. I made it a goal to make and finish at least one short story this year and I am not about to let that goal go. In other words... suggestions? Comments? Concerns?

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ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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swampcloud51

Hmm, perhaps something where Echo and Louie begin to wonder where their from. They demand answers, but the man gives them none. Then he leaves them to fend for themselves? I really like it so far! 

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 ☁รωαɱρყ☁ 

She/Her/They

   ɖօʊɮʟɛ ʄօʀʊʍ ʋɨɢɨʟǟռᏆɛ  

 I'm the goddess of swamps, mist and trees

Hi, welcome to Chili's! 

"It's talking! Merry, the tree is talking!!" ~Pippin

Swammer!

 

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cobraphoenix530

you could always toss in some failed experiments

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J⃣o⃣k⃣e⃣s⃣t⃣e⃣r⃣

 

P R O U D S L Y F R

 

 #NALU

 

kindwantPlue

 

I’M THE INSANEITTO YOUMADNESS

 

FandoArmy

 

(Anyone heard of QOTSA?)

 

YOU’RPOET,  DON’YKNOI-KS

 

Eragon Kiwi & I

 

ɹǝʞoſ :ǝpısdılℲ

 

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compasspaw43

Blah! I need some more time to hit my head on a wall and question why i even started this story. Good suggestions though, I may start working Swampy's idea in. Thanks guys! 

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#IAmNotADistraction  

 

ǬŪĒĒ₦ Ō₣ ₦ŌŦĦĪ₦Ǥ  

                 

IM A PANCAKE

 

Im an Overseer

Im a Fain

Im a Co:pern:ican 

Im a Writer  

Im an Ecc:entr:ic 

 

Team LouieEchoZannaDavid

 

"We arent unicorns were women, and we take what we want"

 

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dragonfly7026

I LOVE THIS STORY WRITE MORE also if u need characters I do have a hybrid OC u can use.

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Nao the Young

 

They say you gotta take the good with the bad, I'll take it all as long as I have you

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Status:  Gone.