Confession time, to you, Sunshine.
I know how you feel. Not really, because my dad left when I was barely one, but I still know. He left because of me. Don't hate him. Hate doesn't do anything.
I admit, I have been petty about this situation. A year and a half ago, he called me. I pressed off. Not even silent, but off. He didn't call me ever since then.
My family changes. My mom now has a really short temper, and my dad now has another family. You're not in the worst situation, Sunshine. Mine's all the way in Australia.
So I haven't seen him for five years, but I'm not sad. I know it sounds bad, but you'll get use to it.
In your situation, just know that it's not your fault. He still loves you.
And, a plus side, I've learned, is that he'll spoil you with presents on Christmas and your birthday, because of guilt. Okay, that may not be much, but hey, it means he loves you. And he's sorry. He will always be sorry. But either way, he loves you. A lot. That's why he didn't want to tell you. That's why he kept the family together for so long, even though he wanted to leave. Because of you.
Also, I'll politely ask you not to break your keyboard.