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silverstranger29

He's only, like, thirteen. And I've no idea what to do. Here's some background:

 

His boyfriend (we'll call him Nathan) and I got in a fight once when he took my friend's phone and texted me that he (my friend, let's call him Mick) was "uhm, busy" and of course I got really nosy and essentially started interrogating him. Nathan started cursing me out before finally saying that Mick was having a panic attack. I apologised, Nathan cursed me out some more, and I felt horrible for the rest of the day.

 

A week later, Nathan texted me from Mick's phone again, and we had a bit more of a civilised conversation. He said that Mick was worried that I would hate him because I knew that Nathan was seeing someone else at the same time as he was Mick. I explained that I respected that, and I was no stranger to a poly relationship, to which he replied: well, yeah, but Mick's the only one of my SO's that know. I don't think he'll tell, though, because he knows that if I had a choice, I sure wouldn't pick him.

 

I got mad, but didn't reply because I was afraid of another incident. I was meaning to tell Mick at school, but he got a new schedule and I no longer had any classes with him. I couldn't text him, either, because it seemed like Nathan had his phone more than he did.

 

So I didn't do anything. And then the entire thing slipped my mind.

 

Yesterday, my family moved a few hours away. In the car on the way to our new apartment, I started texting Mick because I never really got to talk to him anymore. In the middle of our conversation, he said goodbye. So I said "okay, I'll talk to you later?"

 

He said: not really.

 

I figured he was being all technical with me, so I said: okay, text you later?

 

To which he said - I won't answer. I'll be gone.

 

And now I'm borderline panicking, because I know that he has anxiety and so he probably had depression as well, and so there's a chance he's talking about suicide, so I engage him in conversation for a little longer. I ask him if he's okay, if I should be worried, and so on. After fifteen minutes of him giving me answers like "that's up to you" and "why would I be okay?" I get a bit exasperated. I ask if I can get a straight answer.

 

And he goes off on me - "it's not my fault I'm such a failure"

 

So I try to get him to realise that he's not one, and such, but he keeps saying self-deprecating things, and I'm getting worried, so I email our assistant principal that I think one of our counselors should get in contact with Mick. I know that there's a 89% chance he'll hate me for it.

 

I text him: please don't hate me.

 

And I get a "hi"

 

Nathan. 

 

Me: This isn't Nathan, is it?

Nathan: He'll hate you when I tell him that you said you wish he would kill himself.

Me: I never said that.

Nathan: He won't know that.

Me: Why would you even do that? Why would he believe you?

Nathan: If I delete the texts, he'll believe me. I'll just tell him that I didn't want him to see. And if  I help him get over it and pretend to save him, I can probably score a (uhhhh probably not allowed to say that but it starts with a "b")

M: You wouldn't dare. 

N: Wanna bet?

 

No. No I don't. I don't bet on people's lives. This could be the thing that sets him over the edge, and now I'm really panicking, and I might black out, and I need to tell somebody so I tell my mom and she is no help whatsoever.

 

M: Don't.

N: Why not?

M: You'll hurt him. I don't like when people hurt my friends.

N: So? And maybe he'll finally do it (implying suicide) and I'll be free of him. I won't have to deal with his whining and cutting himself.

 

Mick cuts himself? God, I wish I were still there. I wish I could directly help.

 

M: Just break up with him if you want to "be free of him" like normal people.

N: But then I'll have to deal with more whining.

 

My thoughts: ??????? No? You won't? You'll have broken up with him?? It's not like you live in the same house????

 

Wait, do they?

 

No. I don't think so.

 

N: I honestly just wish he'd man up and kill himself.

 

And now I'm on the verge of tears. I also might throw up. This is great, just what I needed on a Friday.

 

Then I get an idea. Nathan probably doesn't know I'm moving. That means...

 

M: I've taken screenshots of our conversation. Now, even if you tell him, I'll show him the proof at school.

N: He already told me that you're not coming back.

 

Shoot. Uh...wait!

 

M: I still have friends who know Mick. I'll have them show him.

N: Who?

M: Why would I tell you? How do I know you won't start harassing them?

N: Well, I'm off to tell Mick. Good luck, [censored because this is a PG website]

 

I have a friend who's going to try to show the screenshots to Mick at school, but I feel so powerless because I'm nowhere near there. And we're on spring break - if Nathan tells Mick today, he has a whole week to get into his head and drive him to suicide. 

 

Nathan doesn't go to our school, and it's not like I can get the police involved. I also have no way of contacting Mick - how do I know Nathan isn't monitoring his texts, or if he's pretending to be Mick?

 

My only hope is that Mick stays alive until my school gets back from break so that my friend can show him the texts. But I don't even know if it will work. It might make him feel worse.

 

Any advice? Please help. I'm scared for my friend.

 

 

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Call me Fret

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darkwizard810

The assistant principal is a good idea and you atchually handled the situation pretty well. You should contact your principal and/or your assistant principal and also contact your friend’s parents.

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puppybutterfly126

Uh... I'd say pray if you're a Christian, but I don't think you are, so... I don't know.

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silverstranger29

@Red - I can't get in contact with the parents. I don't have their information, and I can't get it without texting Mick, and there is a very high chance that Nathan will answer instead. I should probably update the assistant principal on the whole situation, but I don't want to ruin his spring break - but then, if I wait, Mick could be gone already. See my predicament?

 

@Rainbow - Yeah, I'm actually an athiest. I appreciate your suggestion, though. Sometimes I pray anyway, which I know seems weird for an athiest - but yeah, I probably will. Thanks.

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Call me Fret

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You only hear the music when your heart begins to break.

 

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athenabird158

This is a really bad situation. You seem to be one of the only people who can stop this, so my advice to you is to tell your parents what's going on, and try to convince them to let you go at see Mick. If you can, stop at a gas station and get him a treat, (Food helps, trust me). And then get to Mick as fast as you can. Show him the screenshots yourself. Comfort him, make him understand he's worth it, and if you see Nathan, don't hold anything back.

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Lιʋʋ Sɯα

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#ɯσʅʋ

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silverstranger29

I don't know where he lives.

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Call me Fret

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[ Phan - S.T. - SPN - Riverdale - MCU ]

You only hear the music when your heart begins to break.

 

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athenabird158

That's a slight issue

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Lιʋʋ Sɯα

ϝҽɱαʅҽ/ƈαɳƈҽɾ/ʂαɱҽɾ ʂιɳƈҽ 2014

#ɯσʅʋ

#ԋυɾɾιƈαɳҽ

ι ʅσʋҽ, ʅιƙҽ ƚԋҽ ɱσσɳ ʅσʋҽʂ ƚԋҽ ҽαɾƚԋ

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darkwizard810

That sucks about the parents but your assistant principal will probley be happy to know(well that you told him anyways)

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Hi my name is Red and You’re watching Disney Channel

 

 

7th Grade Male

 

Pokemon Trainer

Boy Scout

 

BotW is life

Campaigner 

If I’m acting crazy, I have ADHD

 

Spirit Tracks is underrated

General Geek(not a nerd)

 SAMB B-Day: 12/5/2017(dec.)

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eagledragon2361

Oh dear, that's an awful situation, and I'm sorry that you got dropped into it. Just know, you're handling it very well, so if anything does end up happening before you can do anything, it won't be your fault. I would have recommended screenshotting everything, but you already did that. Send those to police, the assistant principal, any other friends who may have contact with your friend. You need to make sure that as many people as possible are aware of the situation. Contacting the police is important, since they will be able to do something. What Nick is doing, saying, and implying roundly falls under cyberbullying and that would probably be enough for them to step in. The assistant principal will have access to your friend's address and be able to contact the parents. If you're thinking that your friend is suicidal, it's important that you and your friends keep close tabs on him until parents or other adults can step in. 

 

Get help ASAP. You can't do much, but others can. I know you're atheist, but I'll be praying for you. 

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Bobcat.

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puppybutterfly126

Me too.

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   ✩Hate on the trait, not the person.

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silverstranger29

Thank you so much, Bobcat. I wasn't sure if the police would even get involved, but thanks for pointing that out.

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Call me Fret

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happyhopeful24

i would suggest telling your parents and calling the police. this would be an appropriate time bc this is someone's life we're talking about, and this is a pretty bad abusive relationship. just get mick as far away from nathan as soon as possible, and if you have friends in the area who know their location, try to have them help get him out of there asap. whatever you do, get help and get mick away quickly.

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happeh  

 

people come into our lives for a reason

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but i know i'm who i am today

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athenabird158

I have a strong urge to attack this Nathan. What he's doing is making me sick.

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zombiegirl28

I agree with Bobcat!

 

Alert the police. I'm sure they have records of where everyone lives, and if you give them a phone number or a town and full name, they'll have his address.

And about Nathan. Alert the police about him too. It's better to be safe than sorry. And if this turned out to be "a joke" it still should NEVER be taken lightly.

 

Good luck, friend.

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crowsoul50

I know this is kind of off topic, but make sure you're taking care of yourself too. This Nathan doesn't seem to be the most friendly, and he's definitely showing the markers of being an abuser in their relationship, especially because it seems like he's attempting to cut off your access to Mick. I wouldn't recommend physically approaching him unless you have other people with you, as witnesses and also for backup. 

Have you tried calling him? 

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dragonviolet155

Call the police. I believe that what Nathan is doing is murder.

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fashionangel225

Continuing onto what @Greatness said:

If he tries to convince Mick to kill himself, that's almost Indirect Murder. He could be sent to court for that. 

Suicide prevention hotline. Look up the number and call it. They can and will give you help and advice on what to do.

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silverstranger29

Thanks, everybody.

 

@Ishmael - I can't call him. Nathan will probably answer.

 

I've decided to email my assistant principal with the rest of this information, and send him the screenshots. Nobody's going to listen to a kid, but he'll know who to get in contact with. Again, thank you all for helping out. It's helped me greatly.

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Call me Fret

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You only hear the music when your heart begins to break.

 

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kindinky23

Tell him you have his and Mick's address and you're calling the police.

 

It might be a lie but you're literally saving somebody's life. Worth it? I think so.

 

Make sure to keep in touch with your principal. Ask him to talk to Mick if he comes to school again.

 

I recommend calling Mick anyway and trying to keep Nathan on the phone, hoping he hasn't tried to convince Mick to kill himself. If MICK answers, talk to him about how you really care and that you'd really be upset if he did that. Talk to him about how much his family would miss him, and the kids at school (If he has good friends, mention what they value in him) and about how your parents would probably be forever impacted and upset for the rest of your lives, and that if he did it he'd have multiple sins on his case. (If he's Christian) Just talk to him.

 

Again, just try to keep Nathan on the phone if he answers.

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rabbitpaw36

YOU NEED TO REPORT THIS TO POLICE!!

It sounds to me like Nathan is trying to force Mick into committing suicide. This is actually a crime, people have been arrested for that. Not only that, its sounds like he's abusive emotionally to Nathan... you need to tell your parents so you can talk to Mick about it too. Tell Mick's parents. You need to get adults into this.

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ravenfairy187

I agree with the call the police. There was a case not too long ago where someones girlfriend told them to kill themselves and they did. The girlfriend got charged with indirect murder. And something as serious as this, even if Nathan is only 13, would land him in jail for a very long time. My advice? Call the police, tell the suicide hotline, anything you can do in you area to make sure Mick stays alive. 

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