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powerfulwolf250

Oh, I hate her. 
Her long flowing hair. 
Her smooth, pale skin 
And her footsteps, light as air. 
I hate her with a passion. 
A fire that grows within 
I hate her with everything 
I have ever been 
The very way she talks, 
The very way she walks,  
Ignites a fury within 
So strong and fierce,  
It takes all my will to keep it in. 
So I'll trip her in the hallway, 
Let my anger subside 
And watch as her pretty face crinkles, 
As if she's about to cry. 
I'm not mean, you must understand. 
I am only doing what nature demands. 
 

 

I just tired to rhyme words, so it isn't very good. Could somebody help me edit it?

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TALON

 

INTP-

FEMALE  

VIRGO

 

"I'm not the one who's lost with no direction, but you'll never see."Thanks for the memories, everyone. I'll miss you all.

 

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lavenderdawn69

Looks pretty good to me!

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 Lavender/Iria

ASLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,you'd make a great teacher.

 

My gang:Strawberry Shortcake, Plum Pudding, Lemon Meringue, Blueberry Muffin, Raspberry Torte, Ginger Snap

 

 

The world changes,nature shrivels but also blooms,yet we stay strong.

 

 

I would change 'I have ever been' to 'that has ever been', but otherwise I think it's good. 

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 ₵₳ł₦ Elysium 

 

 

A gunslinger

A female

A myth

 

 

"ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴɴᴏᴄᴇɴᴛ ɪs ᴀ ʟɪᴀʀ's ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴜsᴇғᴜʟ ᴛᴏᴏʟ"-ʀᴏʟᴀɴᴅ

 

 

 #Haven86and3000+posts

  

 

Nice! I would check the rhythm of the poem though, just to be safe.

 

If I were you, I would be really proud ^-^

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=Hyper=

 

These wires attached can't keep me sane

I can feel the power run through my veins

I'll bend the time and cause death to relive

For revenge on those I cannot forgive

 

 

 

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powerfulwolf250

Oh, I hate her. 
Her long flowing hair. 
Her smooth, pale skin 
And her footsteps, light as air. 
I hate her with a passion. 
A fire that grows within 
I hate her with everything 
That has ever been 
The very way she talks, 
The very way she walks,  
Ignites a fury within 
So strong and fierce,  
It takes all my will to keep it in. 
So I'll trip her in the hallway, 
Let my anger subside 
And watch as her pretty face crinkles, 
As if she's about to cry. 
I'm not mean, you must understand. 
I am only doing what nature demands

Cancel the weak and make way for the strong.

See? What I am doing is far from wrong!

 

I tried to fix it, but I'm still not sure. Is this alright, or should I scrap the idea?

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TALON

 

INTP-

FEMALE  

VIRGO

 

"I'm not the one who's lost with no direction, but you'll never see."Thanks for the memories, everyone. I'll miss you all.

 

*thumbs up* I like it!

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 ₵₳ł₦ Elysium 

 

 

A gunslinger

A female

A myth

 

 

"ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴɴᴏᴄᴇɴᴛ ɪs ᴀ ʟɪᴀʀ's ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴜsᴇғᴜʟ ᴛᴏᴏʟ"-ʀᴏʟᴀɴᴅ

 

 

 #Haven86and3000+posts

  

 

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greenzombie278

It looks great! I like it!

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           ❖Sphinx

      [Da Green Queen]

Spla2n 2 Master

"This Is The Greatest Show!"

SAMBer Since: Mar 22, 2017

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Chipmunk Saver

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