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tsunamininja5

It was a quiz

 

17 questions

 

And I stayed for an extra  H O U R

 

Class is already an hour and a half. o_o

 

 

So if that was the quiz

 

Imagine how long I'll be there for the unit test. o_o

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Oof

 

I feel bad skipping taekwondo but I'm too tired ;-;

 

I know that's a lame excuse but seriously

 

If I'm not going to give my best, I shouldn't go.

 

Also Florence needs to like

 

Not

 

Because I need my Saturday five hour training, thank you very much

 

We're not in the worst of it, but we're going to get a ton of rain and lots of wind

 

Driving might not be safe...

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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brownlynx107

yea, the hurricane n' all

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guess who's back?

 

Salt.

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tsunamininja5

Oof

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

I should be studying math but I have zero motivation right now

 

...

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

I have to finish the prologue of my wizard story TODAY in THIS CLASS but I have no idea what to write.

 

I was REALLY SMART (not) and decided to submit it for my writing assignment...

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Haha I'm fine what are you talking about

 

Taekwondo was great today, of course

 

I'm perfectly okay :)

 

Totally didn't hide in the bathroom the entire class

 

Totally didn't skip the intern training (well, he told me to . . . which was fine because I literally can't put up with -cough cough- some of the interns right now)

 

And guess who's NOT going to class tomorrow

 

Because Instructor Hates-My-Guts is teaching

 

Funny, just when I was starting to think he didn't hate me so much . . .

 

My friend/instructor said it's not true and that hate is a really strong word, but I mean . . . where's the evidence that it's NOT true?

 

 

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

There's a lot more I want to rant about

 

But I only have five more minutes of internet, so

 

 

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

. . . 

 

I still feel horrible about today.

 

And I'm sorry, I don't think I can fix anything. I've tried. I've tried to pick up all the broken pieces and put them back together.

 

But it's too late.

 

I want to be an instructor; I really do. But I can't overcome this. And no, your desire to reach a goal is not stronger than self-doubt, pain, regret, and self-hatred. I'm sorry. It's not. Maybe it is for you, but I'm not you. I'm not strong. Maybe I used to be strong, maybe I used to be confident, but the person I used to be has faded into shadows as empty as the shell I've become.

 

The ironic thing is that I have a black belt, size 4, with my name stitched into it in Korean. But am I a black belt? No. My black belt test is a terrible memory, and my black belt itself . . . what does it even mean? How can it stand for anything when I myself stand for nothing but brokenness and emptiness?

 

Just when everything starts to be okay again, just when I start to heal, it all has to break again. I wish I wasn't so fragile. All it took was him (the instructor who hates me), just him, and that "okay-ness" was gone.

 

I want to like him. But he makes it impossible. It's been like this since I came here.

 

I want to say this is my fault, but I'm tired of blaming myself for everything. Guess what? You're a taekwondo instructor. Do your job. You can't ignore a student just because they intimidate you with their angst.

 

I keep trying to convince myself to like you. I keep trying to convince myself that it's not your fault, it's my fault, and-

 

But I can't, okay, because all you do is ignore me until I mess up and then all of a sudden OH LOOK SAMURAI EXISTS I GOTTA YELL AT HER

 

I don't care if you weren't actually yelling, you were being all salty so I'm calling it yelling

 

And it was because of you that I hid in the bathroom for the rest of class

 

Hm. 

 

 

 

 

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Wow, my post went through

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Jeremy said he wants me to come back but I don't know if I should...

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

. . .

 

So I think I'm just going to disappear into my writing for a while and like

 

Not go to taekwondo

 

. . . except I want to know if Jeremy read what I sent him yet

 

Did he like it or was it horrible

 

What does he think of Akira

 

And Loki

 

And Sasaki

 

 

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

I would talk about today but I don't trust myself not to say something I'll regret later....

 

....Let's just say I'm very hurt right now....

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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brownlynx107

I’m Sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? 

I know there isn’t a delete button, but you can still rant to me, if you want.

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guess who's back?

 

Salt.

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tsunamininja5

My computer "ran into an error and needed to restart" so my whole post just got deleted.

 

-sigh-

 

Taekwondo has been getting worse every time I go, for one thing.

 

I would elaborate but I don't want to get sent to counseling because I'm on school WiFi and they're probably reading everything

 

That, and the mods would ban me again or something

 

. . . but instructor training is over, so that happened

 

I got kicked out for not being positive and enthusiastic enough

 

But I wanted to quit anyway because their intern program wasn't helping me at all but I wasn't sure how to tell him that . . . I tried, but I never got past "So . . . with the . . . intern program . . ."

 

But I still feel . . . unwanted? Rejected? I don't think that's how he wanted it to come across but that's how I took it . . .

 

. . . so I'm hurt . . .

 

. . . and kind of angry . . .

 

. . . even though I know that's not how he meant it . . .

 

 

 

 

 

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Oof

 

I still don't feel great but we're good now

 

And we're the only ones who know about it, so my cover-up story is "I quit" which isn't really a lie because I was going to anyway, so . . .

 

I tried to tell him that I think I have depression (don't know, though, because I feel okay-ish right now; not really sure what it is) but I can't flipping talk so I ended up saying stuff like "I can't" (talking about being positive) and he said, "Yes, you can" 

 

I felt kind of

 

I don't know

 

Not understood, I guess

 

But I'm horrible at talking about this stuff

 

So I only have myself to blame

 

 

 

 

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar a0d6760dea

tsunamininja5

I think I'll be okay . . .

 

The Hater Instructor hates me even more than he did, but I don't care. I just worry about my friends now (which is really just Jeremy, now that I think about it . . . but that's okay, because he's one of my best friends). I'm not even sure if Hater Instructor actually hates me . . . but that's certainly how I'm perceiving it. He's one to talk about "intention versus impact".

 

I'm staying for now, although I'm not getting back into the intern program. I want the real instructor training, not this . . . which is what I tried to tell Jeremy but he's in charge of the intern program so I didn't want to sound like a [...].

 

I KNOW this isn't how they train real instructors, though, I know that for a fact . . .

 

Like if there's an adult student who's interested in being an instructor, they wouldn't do this . . . so . . . why can't those of us who are actually interested in doing this as a career do the real training?

 

I'm 16 . . . I don't want to train with 12-year-olds, sorry . . .

 

Anyway

 

As of right now I'm miserable here but Jeremy said I can talk to him if I need to

 

Maybe it'll get better

 

 

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar 17e80c08a7

brownlynx107

Happy birthdayyyyy! Yay, you and Foggo are the same age! I'm still a youngling lol.

It will get better, but the points you brought up do make sense. With the instructor training thing. huh. 

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tsunamininja5

Oof

 

(Actually my birthday is next month . . . but at this point I'm so close to 16 I started rounding up. XD Thanks, though!)

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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brownlynx107

Mmm, i’m Still so young I should round down to 14 lol. :)

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tsunamininja5

XD

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Help me, I'm obsessed with Guren no Yumiya

 

Attack on Titan would probably give me nightmares

 

But

 

That song

 

o_o

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar 079088b5fa

challengermaster20

Oof I found my login for this

 

It says Osiris right now, ignore that

 

I wanted to call this account Osiris but I changed my mind

 

My new signature is taking forever to go through

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☯ Rigel

Also known as Samurai

Black Belt

Manga Artist

Writer

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Just here as a reminder:

 

- History Venn Diagram comparing Luther and Calvin

- Functions notes

- Canterbury Tales General Prologue quiz on Wednesday

- Submit something for Creative Writing - due next class

- Ask about clubs

- Starting a writing club?

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar a0d6760dea

tsunamininja5

So my Tarik story

 

I literally wrote it in twenty minutes

 

How did I do that

 

Usually it takes me two hours to write an incomplete sentence:

 

"Tarik opened the"

 

-two hours later-

 

"door"

 

-two hours later-

 

"and"

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

I have a test on the Canterbury Tales today

 

As in

 

In like

 

Ten minutes

 

How am I supposed to remember all of this

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar a0d6760dea

tsunamininja5

...I'm not back

 

Just

 

Visiting, I guess :/

 

I'm way too old to be here (16 now, for real) but for whatever reason I can't let go of this place

 

I came here five years ago, wow

 

 

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar 17e80c08a7

brownlynx107

AAAHUKGNYUNFUNFRCF

 

*also there are kids in college here so you're never too old*

 

 

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guess who's back?

 

Salt.

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tsunamininja5

Guess who hasn't gone to taekwondo for a week! -jazz hands-

 

No intention of going this week either

 

And I'm supposed to advance but it's just a piece of tape. I could go to Home Depot, buy some yellow duct tape, cut off a piece, write "2nd level" on it, slap it on my black belt, and it's basically the same thing.

 

So why even go anymore

 

. . . 

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . . I miss Jeremy, though.

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- Samurai -

 

Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Hehe I forgot about this

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Stressed, depressed, and DBZ obsessed

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

I can't get over how much Broly looks like Thorn

 

(Normal Broly, not Legendary Super Saiyan Broly)

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar a0d6760dea

tsunamininja5

People are doing all of these star celebration things and I realized I've never done one

 

Hmm

 

12,181 stars if you're curious . . . -shrug- It's not like it matters.

 

And it's not like anyone actually reads this

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar a0d6760dea

tsunamininja5

So much for posting writing

 

Apparently there's a character limit?

 

That's . . . irritating.

 

And we need a character limit why?

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

Thumbnail avatar a0d6760dea

tsunamininja5

Looking back at my posts from last year

 

Lol I was such a whiny little

 

Not that that's changed, ha

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

I like the new Sig Sam ^-^ 

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          vKEY

    

               PROTECTIVE DOGGO          

             RESPECT/HONOR/LOVE 

 

  #ForeverOnYourSide 

#ForwardMotion 

 

"Family is the anchor that holds us through life's storms" 

 

         -Sig under construction- 

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tsunamininja5

Thank ye ^-^

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Jaguar

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Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Me: -starts listening to Super Saiyan theme-

Computer: -dies-

 

The power was too much for it, I guess

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Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

I made a writing wiki

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Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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tsunamininja5

Skipping taekwondo like

 

Yeeeah

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Jaguar

Tarik

Akira

Thorn

Loki

 

Almonds are peanut free.

 

"Your soul is in the shredder?"

 

 

SNOP

 

 

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