Soooo... I'm really bored so I am going to post an old short story I wrote for school. Please critisize.
These Dark Streets
Chicago, Illinois, June 12, 2045, 6 A.M.
I woke up with a groan, my sheets tangling around me. According to my iPhone 23, it was June 12, six a.m. I lay in bed for a while and then I hauled myself up and dressed. My name is Rowan Smith, I am a 5’ 6”, 14-year-old girl. My hair is long and brown and my skin is tanned from days spent in the sun. If this was a normal morning, my mother would have already been up making breakfast but it was not a normal morning. In fact, I could hardly remember what normal was. Now, because of the project to find a cure for the flu, a deadly, antibiotic-resistant virus was all over the place, my father was dead and my mother was in the hospital. I slammed the bowl of pancake batter down much too hard on the counter, anger raging through my veins. The ceramic bowl cracked and I swore. I dumped the remains of the bowl in the trash and wiped up the mess. A news program was on the TV and a news reporter was speaking about the “Virus Disaster” as they called it.
“The President has declared it a crisis,” the reporter said. I rolled my eyes. We had been in crisis mode ever since the virus had started, although the President was reluctant to admit it.
“A quarantine has been placed over New York City and Delaware. Just to remind you, the cities under quarantine are…” I was no longer paying attention to what she was saying. The entire state of Delaware was under quarantine? They had been putting cities under quarantine for weeks now but that was a big step. My city, Chicago, had been under quarantine for a week. No one could leave their houses unless they had permission from an official. Food was delivered to your doorstep and even though many people had family in the hospital, they were too afraid to call and get permission to visit their family. But... that wasn't me. I visited my mother every day. Even the policemen were afraid and never patrolled the streets. My attention snapped back to the TV. The news reporter was saying something else.
“And now,” she said. “We have an announcement for everyone age 12 and up. Scientists have announced that they are looking for volunteers to help find a cure for the disease. Anyone who is not infected now may sign up at www.findthecure.org.” I went to the computer and filled out the survey, then jumped up from the computer. I darted outside, then ran across the street. I ran towards my best friend, Luke’s, house. Before I got there, I saw him in the street.
“I found something!” I said. “Scientists are looking for assistants and anyone can sign up!” I filled him in.
“I’ll take a look,” Luke said. “I was on my way to visit my father at the hospital. Care to join me?” he asked.
“Sure!” I nodded.
We walked down toward the hospital As we approached, there were more people on the streets, doctors, nurses and policemen alike. In the middle, the mayor stood, barking orders. Luke and I slipped into an alleyway to avoid being seen.
“It seems busier than last time we were here,” I whispered to Luke. “Or is that just me?”
This will make it much more difficult to get in with all the policemen. They’ll be able to tell our “passes” are fake instantly. I thought. To leave your house, you had to have a pass signed by the Chief of Police and most of those were only for certain days. I had forged passes for Luke and myself.
We managed to sneak in a door in the back. We headed to the third floor where my mother and Luke’s father lay in comas. The usually full hallways were now empty. I assumed everyone was outside. Once we reached the third floor, Luke and I split up, going to separate rooms. I quietly into my mom’s room, praying I would have more time than usual with her. There my mother lay, her raven-black hair contrasting sharply with her pale face. Around her, machines beeped, keeping track of her pulse and breathing. I moved closer. Right now, she looked as if she was asleep, but I knew if I got closer, signs of her sickness would appear. Her too fast breathing, slowed heartbeat, and too pale skin. I sat stiffly in the chair beside her, grasping her hand tightly.
“I love you, Mom,” I whispered, my voice quiet. I sat in silence for a few minutes before I heard people beginning to re-enter the building. Springing up from the chair, I hurried out of the room. Some of the nurses felt sorry for me and would lie for me but I knew many of them would not. Luke was waiting for me when I got to the end of the hallway.
“Ready to go?” he asked, his voice quiet.
“Yes,” I replied. After leaving the building, we walked home together.
Chicago, Illinois, June 18, 2045, 3:25 a.m.
I awoke that morning at 3:25 a.m. Too early to be up. I couldn't remember why I was up so early but there was some reason. Something was happening but I couldn’t make my brain work well enough to remember what it was. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Something... Suddenly, I sat bolt upright. The study to help find a cure! Today results would be sent out. In my haste to get to the computer, my legs tangled in my sheets and I tumbled to the ground. I scrambled up, leaving my sheets in a tangle. I flew down the hall to the computer and logged in, then opened my email. There it was! I read the email.
I sat back in my chair and sighed. I was in. I guessed that was a good thing but all of the sudden, I wasn’t so sure. It would be a lot of work with people I didn’t know. I wondered if Luke had gotten in. I was too tired and couldn’t think straight. I stumbled into bed and fell asleep.
I rolled out of bed the next morning and dressed in a black skirt and a white dress shirt. I ate quickly and left the house after printing out my pass. I stole down the empty streets, heading towards the building. Once I was inside, I found Lab 217 and entered.
Inside the lab stood a tall woman with long blond hair and tanned skin. "Hello!” she cried. "I am Lyra Boyd. Are you here to help find a cure?"
"Yes," I answered.
"Alrighty," she said cheerfully. "We'll just wait for the others." After a few minutes, someone else arrived. It was Luke!
"Luke!" I exclaimed. "Are you assigned to the same lab as me?"
"If this is lab 217, then yes, I am," he replied.
I just smiled
"Hello there," Lyra said. "Are you Luke?"
"Yes," he replied. "I am," Lyra grinned.
Just then, the door opened again, and a girl of about 16 entered.
"Hello," she said in a Southern drawl. "You must be the team I am working with. I am Nicole Blake."
"Hello!" Said Lyra. "I am Lyra Boyd, your head scientist. This is Luke and..." She hesitated, turning towards me. "What's your name again?"
"Rowan Smith," I said.
"Yes," Lyra said. "And Rowan Smith. We'll start soon."
"Ok," Nicole said. The door opened again, and two boys and a girl entered.
"Hello!" Lyra said. "What are your names?" They introduced themselves as Jake, James, and Jill.
"Our parents are obsessed with the letter 'J'.'" Jill explained.
"Alright," Lyra said. “Now that we are all here, we can start,” Lyra said. "Now, as you know, you will be helping to find a cure for the disease L29C," I blinked. For some reason, I had never bothered to find out what the disease was called.
"Our job is to test chemicals on L29C." she said
We got to work. The rest of the day was spent mixing chemicals. At 9:00, Lyra said, "End of the day! Time to head home!" and shoved us out the door. I headed home to get some rest.
It had been a long last few weeks at work but we had found a cure. Or to be more accurate, the advanced group of scientists, called "The Brainiacs" by everyone, had found a cure and it was being distributed throughout the world. Though I was exhausted, I was also happy. My mother would soon be home, and life would return to normal. I would miss Lyra and the others. I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night. The next morning, I awake to the smell of pancakes and smiled. My mother was home.
Yeah, the ending's terrible, but I had a word limit. Anyways, please give your opinion.
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~Queen of Books~
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