Oh, sorry! I was on a road trip.
I'm only online certain times of the day - strict parents.
Anyway, I think I can sort of relate to how you feel. Taekwondo used to make me feel better (think of it as my skateboarding, singing, and ukulele), but lately, it hasn't been helping me at all. I sort of know what's wrong, but I also sort of don't. A lot of it is teenage angst - I know that. That's probably part of it for you too, but I'm not, as my friend/instructor said "going to put a bow on it and pretend everything is okay". Angst is terrible. And it might be other things too - I'm not a professional, but I know angst isn't the only thing that's hurting me, so it's probably not the only thing that's hurting you. This probably sounds stupid and chaotic, but I've been a mess lately . . . what I meant was angst is probably part of it, like it is for me, but I'm not dismissing it as "just angst". My parents do that a lot, and frankly, it's irritating.
This is a rough time for everyone. It seems that as I get older, it only gets worse. I used to deal with a lot of anxiety, and now I'm dealing with a lot of heartache (it's healed a bit, though) and feeling like everyone hates me. Everyone else keeps telling me how awesome they think I am, but whatever they see . . . I don't see it.
You're dealing with something like that, right? Not being able to see your good qualities, focusing only on the nonexistent bad qualities despite what everyone else says? That's me.
Like I said, the teen years are rough . . . but it helps if you talk to someone. Even if it doesn't get better right away, having someone there really helps. It doesn't have to be an adult - just talk to someone. I'm not going to assume you feel like this, but what I deal with is that I don't want to burden other people with my problems so I just don't talk about it. If that's how you feel, don't do that. Talk about it. If you don't, it will only get worse.