but you know how people have circles of friends? yeah, over here in my town, i don't think i have one of those anymore. im sorta just 'that weird kid' now. i mean not that i haven't always been but its kinda taking it's toll on me now. mental health gets worse and i think im developing some sort of anxiety and im feeling sick for no reason and it's like everything is just gone now.
my circle of friends (averie, conner, kat, aj, ethan... ) i don't really talk to them anymore. everything's kinda just been replaced.
and then there's rocky and it's so difficult Kaylee, it's so hard. i have you guys and i love you all but i mean... it's rocky. everything is just a memory now and it hurts. it hurts so bad and i wish i had more time and i wish he would come back or just something so we can at least talk so it's not completely the end.
my family is a different story, and i really thought my father was going to forget me at the school. have i really dropped down that low? yeah, apparently i have.
i find myself asking millions of questions and drifting off during serious topics that i know about and everything's kinda caving in on me now. i dunno why life chose now to do that.
Christmas is coming up and so is Thanksgiving and I just don't know how to feel about it all anymore. I don't know why, but I feel like the Charlie Brown of my world. Is that wrong? It feels like it.
and i mean to everyone else I'm just the happy kid who likes making jokes. it's as if nobody really knows me. like I've been deeply stereotyped.
everything ive lover my whole life are the things i find myself disliking or never doing. like my whole existence has been reached by emptiness.
(I really hope this goes though. Mods, she needs to hear this.)