Have you ever laid on a stone cold road?..

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dragonheart5528

Mhm. I do it when I'm bored sometimes. Or a busy road. But usually I get kicked off.

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killed by m y s e l f

I-I laid in the road...it was stone cold but I honestly liked the feeling of being frozen...

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 ⛊ I'll stay awake, 'cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight

 

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dragonheart5528

It does sort of give you a nice feeling. I don't live in a snowy place, but whenever I visit snowy places, I lay in their roads. It's kind of like, being frozen while the world is speeding around you, ready to run you over. But you're just one with the ice, hoping you don't break.

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killed by m y s e l f

Eh getting run over sounds nice because then all I would have to focus on is breathing...

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dragonheart5528

It's not fun, trust me. I took a little too long to get out of the way once. Only broke a leg but it was still painful, not like a peaceful thing like you'd think. Don't try it.

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killed by m y s e l f

I've been in a hospital bed before Jazz and I honestly don't care if it's noisy but yet quiet or if the air is stale or if people are constantly checking on me or any of that. The point I'm getting at is that I always have a million and one things on my mind and there is always something that has to be done now and if I was in a hospital bed all I would have to think about is breathing and just getting annoyed. 

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dragonheart5528

okay

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killed by m y s e l f

-pokes you- 

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dragonheart5528

-pokes back-

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killed by m y s e l f

:| I want to rant but...

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dragonheart5528

You can rant. I'll listen.

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killed by m y s e l f

It's more of a vent then rant...and -sighs- I don't know maybe it's all in my head..

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dragonheart5528

Vent or rant, you can talk to me. I’ll listen and help you out with anything if you need it. That’s what family’s there for. 

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killed by m y s e l f

what if it's about family?...

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dragonheart5528

You can still rant to me.

 

But listen, my world is falling apart right now. I know Lev's is as well. And yours. You guys are strong enough. I'm leaving the SAMB for a while. You can rant nonstop and I'll be here, maybe starring a post once and a while as a reminder I'm still here, even if I may not post. It's not forever. I just can't be on here right now.

 

I can't go two minutes without crying. I'm falling. There's nothing I can do about it. I just don't think I can be here right now, with the people I love that make me most emotional. I can't explain it. I just can't be here. I need some time. I'm sorry we could never be as close, and I know you won't take this as hard as if it were Lev or Mariah. I'm sorry we could never make a bond like you have with them. 

 

Bye for now, Key.

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killed by m y s e l f

My world isn't falling apart I'm stuck with the same *filter* I've been stuck with. I've become apathetic to it. I don't expect anyone to stick around anymore. Yeah it still hurts a hek-in lot but what can I do about it? I'll always meet awesome people I want to have in my life forever but 

 

 

I love you Nora I'm here if you need anything. I'm sorry life is *filter* right now. I'm here if ever you want to talk about it. Stay safe and don't do anything stupid. 

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 ⛊ I'll stay awake, 'cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight

 

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ooof guess that's what happens when you're in a rush. 

 

Let me just do that last sentence of the first paragraph again...

 

I'll always meet awesome people I want to have in my life forever or at least a good amount of time but it's not going to happen. And everyone says the same thing so I don't know who to believe. 

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dragonheart5528

Key, there's no believing anyone. Don't listen to people who lie to you. It's fairly simple. You're the only one in control of who you're going to trust and believe that they'll stay. 

 

And thanks for trying to one-up me there. Really boosted the mood.

 

I'm not leaving forever. So I'll repeat those truly meaningful words that can sum up a whole year of being family: stay safe and don't do anything stupid.

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killed by m y s e l f

I think the bond I have with them is because I spent way more time with them then with you. Honestly when I first met you you kinda annoyed me lol. So when you were pretty active I didn't really try to spend time with you and then you became less active and that's when you were growing on me? I don't know how to describe without it sounding like I had a crush on you or something. So it's really just because I spent less time with you I think. 

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dragonheart5528

Wow, Key

That's really rude, you know that?

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killed by m y s e l f

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dragonheart5528

You know what, just-- I can't right now. Shouldn't have said that, or even said I was leaving

 

bye. I guess.

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killed by m y s e l f

Wait what? Dude no, agh I didn't mean it like that.  I love you Jazz it just took warming up to you is all. I didn't know you very well back then. All I saw was the surface but I know you now. I'm sorry it came out that way...some times I just type without thinking how it sounds...

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dragonheart5528

Whatever, Key. Only adds onto the list. 

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killed by m y s e l f

sometimes I instantly bond with people and sometimes I don't. I don't know what to say to fix my mistake....

 

I love you okay? YOU. ARE. FAMILY. TO. ME. What did you want me to say? That I'll miss you terribly and end up crying because I'll have all these memories and unable to make more. I didn't say that because I figured it would make it even harder. Like you would think you were causing me pain or something. That's why I didn't say that... I'm sorry...just- just know I love you and always will...

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dragonheart5528

You're my family, too. I love you. I'm sorry. Thank you.

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killed by m y s e l f

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dragonheart5528

Hey Kaylee.

It hasn't been that long since I last talked to you. But I just want to warn you. It could be a lot longer. You have all my prairs that no matter what you go through in the future you'll get through. When I'm not there to support you. Thanks for all the great memories. Stay safe out there.

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killed by m y s e l f

-sighs-..how much longer are we talking here?..weeks, months, year, years...? Thanks Nor that really means a lot to me and same goes to you. No, thank you. You've changed my life in some aspects and have gotten me through some really rough times in my life and have saved me from a lot of pain and hurt so I should be the one thanking you. I love you Jazz stay safe too, don't do any risky business =-= I'll miss you terribly as always. Spat forever! XD 

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dragonheart5528

Spat forever!
And if I had to guess, it'd be months. But I'd find a way to contact you if I did have to leave for a year.

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killed by m y s e l f

Okay... :/ love you Nora. You still remind me of the strawberry from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. XD 

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dragonheart5528

Good. I have no idea what that is. XD.

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killed by m y s e l f

You've never seen Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs????!!! Dude you have to watch them. The first and second mainly the second one because of the strawberry. 

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