I've got some. These are all real occurrences that have happened to me, with some variation on actual dialogue.
English Teacher: *Hands out lyrics to a song that has literally no meaning whatsoever* You have half an hour to annotate and your entire paper should be covered in writing! This will go on your grade.
Me: Umm... Let's see. It has the word blue here, I will write "Why did the songwriter use this word to describe whatever he is writing about.
Teacher: *Manages to come up with meaning to song* So, class, tell me what the theme, central idea, and supporting details are.
Me to friend: ...I'm dead if she calls on me. I only wrote stuff like why did they use that word.
This one is literally the first day of class this school year in a nutshell.
English Teacher: Today we are going to talk about the effects of words on stuff. Fill these jars with rice and we are going to talk to them and then observe the mold after 30 days.
Me: Why? Just why? This has nothing to do with English and I am not talking to jars of rice.
English Teacher: Because break is coming up, let's watch this book based off of a book that none of you here have ever read.
Me: Ok, I'll just read the entire time.
Teacher: *At the end of movie* Alright guys, let analyze this movie and find the theme and central idea.
Me: Really? Just really? Why!
English teacher: We are going to read this boring book as a class. Every night, I want you to go home, read the assigned two or three chapters, and find, write down, and think of the meaning of every metaphor, simile, and occurrence of personification in those chapters. This will count on your grade.
Me: *Raises hand* What if there isn't any meaning to it?
Teacher: There always is a meaning!
Me: I was working on a paper and I used a simile by saying pollution is like the first step in a book titled "Global Warming- How to Cause it." (I never actually said that in real life) I had no hidden meaning behind that.
Teacher: Well, that is because you aren't a professional writer. You can always find a meaning if you try hard enough.
Me: *Spends two hours working on it* There is no meaning behind the phrase "The sun is like a star" None! The Sun is a star! I give up!
Teacher, next day in class: *Starts reading out long list of meanings behind that simile.*