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amberunicorn816

*deep inhale*

 

OK.  So.

 

1. Lunch.

I keep losing friends. Like. Often.  All the people at my lunch table (except for one who is in the same situation as me) don’t talk to me anymore and basically shove me to the side. There are two halves of every table.  They used to be mixed evenly.  This year, all twenty of them decided to sit on the left half, leaving me and one of my friends to have half the table to ourselves.  I asked one of my friends (who has a half-empty lunch table) if I could move there, but apparently their table has a...bad history with newcomers, to put it nicely.  My other friends all have full tables.  I don’t want to go to guidance and make a big fuss of it though.  What do I do?!

 

2. My electives next year.

I just realized. The two electives I enrolled for next year are filled with boys a year older than me, and none of my friends are there. My parents won’t let me switch.  AAAAAH.

 

3. My crush.

This is really complicated.  My crush used to have a crush on me last year.  Naturally, I wasn’t very smart and hid.  This year, he’s in only my elective and gym.  My elective is a study hall half the time.  There is this eighth grade girl who is really popular and in my class. She knows that I like him and she also knows who my crush likes.  I also know who my crush likes.  Problem is, it’s not me.  He’s torn between a seventh grader who is my practical enemy and that eighth grade girl.  He also knows that I like him.  I’m probably confusing you all right now...

 

Ill stop ranting here.

 

Help? Advice?!

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amberunicorn816

Also, I’m that genius that gets practically perfect grades all the time.   

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misttiger110

(Btw I'm currently in full tea spilling mode from a conversation me and a friend had about some juicy gossip, so this is long.)

 

By the sounds of it, you're in Jr. High or middle school? I think this will work itself out over time, this is how middle school was for me. You loose friends, you make some more, and the social drama is real. But if I could offer any advice, it would be to put yourself out there and make friends who have common interests, and will be there to stay throughout highschool.

 

Also with your crush. That's up to you on what to do, but I think you shouldn't ask him out as of now. Not that I think it would be a bad thing, but from what I know, middle school relationships/awkward things end in drama, one way or another. That's just going off of one of my friends personal experiences, so it'll probably be different for you if you decide to act. This is all going off of the culture in my district, so chances are the environment is different where you are, too.

 

And I feel you on that second thing. Nag your parents to let you switch (unless you might be grounded), but even if you do take those classes, you'll make some friends in them.

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wolfwerewolf17219

Well, i am preteen. I am eleven, i am not a teenager but, I have had similar issues. A lot of my friends worry about be "cool" and poularity also counts. I just say what does cool really mean though? Cool to me means, you nice, get good grades, and you worry about others. Suddenly they all got kind of popular. The "popular" girls invited my friends over to sit with them. I wasn't exactly invited with them but one of my friends convinced them to let me sit with them. I kind of got ignored the whole time but i honestly didn't want to speak because they were just talking a lot of gossup and drama i don't want to be near any of that. Bigger groups have more drama and gossup. I don't think you want to be around that. But if you really do want  to sit with them. Ask if you can sit with them. I mean, isn't everyone a newcomer there. They learn to accept them and have them as friends. If they are mean to you, don't ask again. I mean, if they won't let you sit with them, they aren't your friends.

 

Dude, don't worry. I know some boys can be really.....yeah(no offense to anyone) just kind of come off mean and smug but some boys are really nice. i have a couple boys that are friends. There is a boy in 7th grade. We are friends. We were in the same advanced music class. Try talking to some, you might cross a couple boys that are mean but if they are mean to you. Just ignore them. If you ignore them they won't have any fun out of being mean to you although sometimes i don't ignore them

 

Ok, i have never been a Crush-y girl. I have never had a crush but there are quite a lot of boys that "like me". Overrall each period i have someone who "likes" me in each period. Sometimes you can get paired up with people you "like" or they "like" you. But, if you are just nice to them. If you be nice to them,  they will think of you nice and who knows, maybe that guy mike like you for being nice to him.

i hoped this helped! If you need anymore tips i am always open!

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powerfulwolf250

1. leave. find other friends. attempting to rekindle a friendship or hanging onto them is a bad idea - if they want you back, they'll find you. but, unfortunately, they probably don't. find new friends - start a friendship with the other girl in a similar situation, and either you'll grow closer or attract more people. pay attention to people who might not feel welcome and invite them to join you. be kind, as the kind people tend to win. and embrace self-deprecating humor. it's the newest teenage trend, apparently.

 

2. oh well. find one who seems okay, and befriend him. relationships with guys, i find, are far more fulfilling. even if they don't always last long, they're often interesting and offer learning opportunities.

 

3. forget him. he probably won't like you back, and it's useless to attempt at a relationship that will, statistically, crash and burn after a week to a month. your rivalry? forget that. leave school with as little animosity and drama as you can lest you get known for it. focus your energy on friends and school. boys tend to come in correlation with those - as i said before, befriend lots of guys. 

 

 

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darkwizard957

Wow! I didn't realize how tough it was actually being popular. Boy am I glad I have no friends even though I almost always have A's, am extremely nice (normally), and am really good at the saxophone... I am now glad I am an Outcast.

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butterflydusk36

1) Don't worry about it. Losing friends, gaining friends, it's all a part of a cycle! Don't stress, cuz you'll still have friends in the end. All will be fine. 

2) Believe me or not, I've done the same thing with business class, and in the end, it was super fun. I made new friends, I've tested how many sour patch kids I could fit in my mouth at once, and overall, it was fun. Look forward to meeting new people, even if you're nervous at first.

3) Simply, get a new crush. Try your very best not to think of him in a romantic way anymore. Refer to him as "buddy". Odd piece of advice, but it worked for me, so it can probably work for you. 

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Ever After~

 i knew a lady lost the forest for the trees

 she grew a lust to bury all underneath

 she cut to their heart,

 she bled them dry

 she kept her fire burning up to the sky

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hydrakitten48

1) People like them peak in middle school/high school. I suggest making new friends. Try talking to the quiet kids in your classes, they may need a friend. trust me, I was definitely one of the quiet kids in middle school and freshman year. Though, be wise with who you befriend. My friend group in 6th grade invited the new girls at our table, and those girls ended up bullying me for pretty much that whole year and a bit into 7th grade. We did this again in 7th grade with that year's new girl (Elena), and we were dragged into unnecessary drama via association. Elena was one of those girls who hops from boyfriend to boyfriend, back to the first boyfriend and so on

 

2) Again, try making new friends in those classes

 

@Ever After I don't think you can simply "get a new crush."

 

3) Try distracting yourself from thinking about him by getting involved in a lot of different activities

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WeLl My HeArT iS gOlD bUt My HaNdS aRe CoLd

 

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look at the moon.

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is looking at it too."

 

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this wallpaper glistens."

 

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powerfulwolf250

that's the thing - getting popular isn't difficult. it's a matter of social intelligence, EQ. finding the right groups and generally being friendly. if people like you, which they often do if you're nice and friendly, you'll rise quickly. or at least be known. popularity is quite simple, merely finding groups of people to fit into and finding ways to make yourself seem more confident and entertaining then you really are.

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"I'm not the one who's lost with no direction, but you'll never see."Thanks for the memories, everyone. I'll miss you all.

 

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amberunicorn816

@Talon, in my district, (no offense to all you guy forumers out there because you all are awesome :) ), the boys are...um...crazy, annoying, and extraordinarily rude. To say the least...

 

@Those who told me to try to drop the “rivalry”, I tried.  She knows I am not a huge fan of her, but every time she passes me in the hallway, she screams my name as loud as she can from across the hallway.  Like, CHILL.  Trust me, I’ve tried.

 

@Wizard, I am most definitely NOT popular.  Everyone thinks I’m the smartest genius since Einstein.  I’m the kind of person who doesn’t know who James Charles is.  Up until last week...

 

Im in 7th grade, BTW.

 

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP! 

 

AUTOCORRECT STOP MAKING MY WORDS WRONG

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misttiger110

Hey sisters, did I hear the name James Charles?

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silvermist539

I understand. Those people who are your 'friends' at the lunch table clearly are not your friends. Shoving you to the side, ignoring you, neglecting you; it's not gonna be a healthy friendship at all and I think you should just drop them. Don't try to hang on to people who pull you down, and find people who will support you in everything. Find people you're comfortable around. Using Anna Akana's advice, it doesn't matter if they're 'nice' or ''funny' or 'cool.' What matters is how you feel around them, if you're comfortable, feel safe, etc. 

I know how difficult it is to make friends, because people just don't seem interested. Trust me though, there's always someone who would love to be friends with you. not just acquaintances that you hang out with, but a real friend. The hard part is finding that person, but if you keep looking and stay open, then you'll find them. 

 

You might not feel comfortable around many boys and unfamiliar people, but who knows, you might find someone who will become your friend. I know most of them might seem rowdy and obnoxious, but I'm sure not all of them are. Get to know a few, and you might be surprised. If you really wanna switch, then you could just keep telling and asking your parents, probably. Or talk to the faculty who handle your schedule. 

 

I'm going to be blunt here in that middle school crushes really things I don't really advise. I mean, you can't stop a crush, but I wouldn't say to take action with them. Middle school relationships rarely if at all make it. You're either going to end up marrying the person or breaking up. At a younger age when you havent fully developed yourself, your interests, personality, outlook, etc. it's highly probably your'e going to change, and the two of you are going to go in different directions. Of course you can still remain friends but I'm just trying to think of it more practically. I swear I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, but I'm just saying middle school is not a good time to date. Love is a complex emotion and while experimenting while you're young is good, I still say wait a bit, maybe until highschool or college.

 

I also would say you should try not to have any enemies. It might not be your fault, your 'rival' may just be purposely trying to annoy you. You just have to ignore it, though, it's best not to feed the fire. Don't try to pour water over the fire, as it could make it worse; instead, just put a lid on it and let it fade away on it's own, leaving it be. 

 

You don't have to take my advice, as every situation is different. This is my two cents, though, so hopefully it helps you in some way, even if only by making you realize how you're not going to act. Things will look up, soon.

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-Joy

 

The world is quiet here. The SAMB soon will be too. 

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Wherever you're headed, good luck. 

 

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powerfulwolf250

they all seem like that at that age. trust me, there's plenty of good among the bad - you just need to search a little harder. my school, even now, was known for its immature, painstakingly inconsiderate male population. but there were many good guys - i just wasn't willing to look hard enough for them. and while they broke off, later on, it was nice to have people by my side and have short friendships with - don't make up your mind yet and generalize the entire population, because there's always a few good among the bad. and, sometimes, the bad isn't even as bad as we believe.

 

can you go into detail? she might think you're friends of some sort or doing it to annoy you. trying to get attention, maybe trying to become friends - while unlikely, it's happened. rivalries continue because both parties continue to add fuel to the fire - stop paying attention to her and she'll realize it's futile. rivalries are idiotic at such an age and solve nothing. while you may not think you're contributing, every sidelong glance and narrowed eye is only giving her satisfaction. don't give that to her.

 

ignore her and she'll go away. it's simple. nobody wants to pester somebody that doesn't react - after all, who wants to attempt to annoy an inanimate object? 

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TALON

 

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amberunicorn816

@Talon, I’ve been ignoring them for over four months and they won’t stop bugging me.

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I'm a boy in seventh and that boy? step away from him but keep the door open. If it has no chance shut it and move on. romance in high school is stressfull. most of the boys are probable annoying but something will turn up just wait. 

 

keep strong.

 

 

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nightdagon or Skylark

 

only a fool tries to sit at the head of a round table

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amberunicorn816

@Nightdragon, I’m in 7th grade.

 

 

Also, just saying, my district is literally feared for its over-athleticism.  I don’t do any sports tho

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exactly my point

 

 

 

I have no love sports

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nightdagon or Skylark

 

only a fool tries to sit at the head of a round table

                                                stendeval

 

I don't care what you call me as long as it isn't late for dinner

 

Only those that have a beginning have a ending

 

 

 

I miss spell check

 

Exactly my point.

 

 

Also I have no love for sports.

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nightdagon or Skylark

 

only a fool tries to sit at the head of a round table

                                                stendeval

 

I don't care what you call me as long as it isn't late for dinner

 

Only those that have a beginning have a ending

 

 

 

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wolffighting2768

Welcome to my world Twilight....

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dragondolphin2613

Also, in response to your "perfect grades" reply, I am also that type of person...I have had Straight A's my whole life, and always gets bonus points on tests.

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dragondolphin2613

Please don't just follow my advice, it's not the best, but i hope it can do:

 

1.

 

Ok, I have experienced that.

 

My friends kept on kicking me out at lunch, until we settled it and they apologized and all...this lasted for a couple months though. I recommend talking it over, and if they don't agree, then stick with that one friend who sits with you still. It probably says something that she/he still decides to sit with you.

 

2.

 

Try to explain to your parents that you really don't want to do it, and if you find a good reason why (I think the one about the boys is a great one), perhaps you can change their minds.

 

3.

 

My opinion is to stay out of more unnecessary drama from the looks of 1) and 2), but if you do decide to go through with trying to get in a relationship with him, I would make sure I know him really well and become close friends. 

 

 

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catamber1354

I'll come back to try to help.

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Forget all this stuff that I usually put here. The forums are ending so no one cares what's supposed to be here.

 

But this is what I want you all to remember: Be kind. You will have everything in life if you are kind.

 

Love you all.

 

~Windsong <3

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amberunicorn816

Thank you all so much! 

 

The eighth grade elective problem was fixed.  A few of my friends chose it too!  Pity my second elective is full of sixth graders... :(

 

 

Same with the eighth-grade girl.  She dropped out of our elective, so I don’t have any more classes with her anymore.  Therefore I won’t see her except for occasionally in the hallway.  

 

 

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dragondolphin2613

Also, I am in 8th, about to go into 9th if you are wondering.

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ghostmorning7

Ah man oh man Twilight XD  I see some of the issues were resolved lol. Since you sound like me with your grades, ahahhaaaa wait till high school when the gap between  the smart people and the others starts widening. It gets really great in classes.

 

~Hope Forever~ Andrea

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              ~Hope Forever~ Andrea   

Goodbyes are only sad if you know you'll never say hello again

I guess this one is sad

So I'll bid you goodbye for the last time

And say thank you for the memories

Know that I'll miss you tomorrow and ever day after