I'm absolutely awful at being consistent here but I guess soon I'm not really gonna have to worry about that
I have no idea if I'll be going on the new Home Base. Not because I can't access it, because I'm just so bad at being active on these places.
So this might goodbye from me.
I'll always love this place, and love all the people I met here. I made memories that I wouldn't have made anywhere else, but all things must end eventually. And I think that things for me will end with the MB.
I might occassionally visit the Home Base to say hello every here and there. But being permanently active is too much to ask from me. I have so much going on in my life.
But I have three fundamental things that I need to say before the MB ends.
I wanted to thank all the friends I made, the ones who are still here and the ones who are gone. Prank, thank you for being one of my first friends and putting up with me over the years. Eternity, thank you for being such a good rambling buddy. Raven, thank you for always reading my stuff, I think that that may have helped my writing confidence a lot. Katana, thank you for always making me smile with some of the things you did. Rajani, thank you for being as weird and dark and twisted as I am. Jade, thank you for creating such compelling characters and inspiring me to make my own. I could go on for ages, to be honest, there have been so many people who have impacted me during my time here. Some of them are gone, some of them have stayed until the end, and I love every one of them.
I used to be a horrible writer during my time here. There is absolutely no denying that, I was terrible. But doing that inspired me to take writing seriously. I have huge writing projects that I've been working on since I first left the MB in 2016. And without this place, I don't think that enjoyment of writing would have awakened in me. I've gotten leagues better since I was here though, trust me. Who knows, maybe someday I'll have something published and y'all will be able to read it and be like "hey, that's Verity". (Trust me, y'all will know it's me lol, somehow I'll make it clear that this published work is mine.) And I just wanted to thank everyone for dealing with those horrible days, because now I've improved and I'm pouring my soul into actual good writing, and maybe that'll be a future for me.
This is less of a "thank you", and more of something I've never mentioned here before. But I wanted everyone to know, especially old friends. Last summer, I realized that I'm lesbian, and deep down, I feel as though I've always known. I know that I had a lot of antics in around 2015 that suggest otherwise, but I've come to realize that those actions were me not knowing that liking the same gender was an option. I was trying to do what other people were doing, and those actions were quite frankly all for attention. I have realized that I didn't mean anything I said or did during that time, I did it for attention, and that succeeded, so I carried through with it. I did those things during a tough time for me, and here on the MB, acting out and being ridiculous gave me a sense of validation and belonging. And it helped me make so many friends and memories, so in some ways, I'm a little thankful for all that acting out. But essentially, I can say that those actions were that of a lonely 12 year-old who just wanted friends and didn't really understand what romantic feelings and crushes were. I'm 16 now, and after realizing that I'm lesbian, I can say that I'm much happier and it's allowed me to form such close friendships with people who understand how it feels. I felt that after everything I've done on the MB, there are many people who deserve to know the truth. And I also wanted to say, you are valid, you are amazing. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise, and do not let anyone make you feel bad for who you are, because they are so wrong.
Even though I may never see some people here again, everyone I have talked to has shaped me in some way. You're all amazing people, and I know I will miss you all.
But this might not be a permanent goodbye. Maybe our paths will cross again, I'd like to say that they will.
Thank you all for everything.
PS - yes, there are Hamilton references. I saw Prank's post about this, and since it was posted a few weeks ago, I felt like it might be too late to reply. So I thought I should make my own references haha. I finally got hooked on it! A little late, but better late than never.
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Thank you all for everything.